Anna Kosaly-Meyer, Ph.D.   (206) 442-2001   annakmeyer80@gmail com
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Anger management

12/30/2017

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What is anger management actually? One thing to know about anger is that it is one of the 8 primal emotions and it is not going anywhere. Anger is here to stay. So, our goal can not be to help people never to get angry again. That would be highly unrealistic. And that is exactly why anger management is necessary. It refers to the way we behave when we are angry. What we DO and SAY when we are angry. Unmanaged, that is the time when we can do serious damage to our relationships! So, management of anger refers to finding ways of staying in control enough to not do or say anything we would regret later.
So, the definition of Anger Management is to manage OUR OWN BEHAVIOR WHILE WE ARE ANGRY. 
How we can do that and who needs anger management will be the topic of later blogs.

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Anger works!

12/13/2017

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Not everyone who has an anger problem actually has a short fuse. It feels like they do at the moment. But once here in my office  we start talking more about it it frequently turns out that there are many other feelings underneath that anger. These feelings are often more difficult to talk about than getting angry.
These feelings tend to be sad, hurt painful feelings. Many people are not able to risk becoming so vulnerable as to express these feelings because they may not be well received.
It is so much easier to just get mad! Also, anger works! People who act angry generally get their way which then further reinforces the angry behavior.
​But it may be helpful to remember that asking the angry person about what might be going on with them and help them talk about the feelings under the anger, could open a whole new way of interaction, a whole new kind of relationship.
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